I am craving just one really good nights sleep! If I could just fall asleep easily and sleep more than 4hrs straight, I would be so happy! I refuse to take sleeping pills. With all the shit that I had put my body through over the years - back in the days of partying my ass off, I’m too scared to take anything that isnt herbal. And no, weed does not help me sleep! lol. But is great every now and then to take my mind off things.

Juneau Wisconsin was definately an experience. The club itself was beautiful, you didnt feel like you were in the middle of nowhere when you walk into that club. The girls were hot, and most of them were actually friendly towards me. Thats all i’m going to say.

I was shocked to hear about Michael Jacksons death. Very sad, he was such a genius, there will never be anyone like him. I dont believe he was a pedophile, just a man who never had a real childhood, and wanted to re-live that, living in a fantasy world.

Moving on,  I just came back from shooting a very interesting reality type show - which is also going to be a porn flick, but hopefully they’ll sell the reality part to MTV or something. I can’t talk about it though, sorry! We’ll just have to wait and see what happens with it.

Aside from that, i’m just busy trying to get things back in order in my office and around the house. Always so much work to catch up on when you get back in town. And being tired all the time, doesn’t help achieve much! But I’m pushing myself anyway. I wont let this insomnia hold me back!

stay tuned…

I am very happy to have received such great feedback from everyone on the condom issue in my last blog. Some people say it ruins the fantasy when they’re watching porn, but for the most part, people agree that our health should be first priority, and alot of fans dont care whether there’s a condom in the scene or not - as long as they dont see the guy putting it on.

Well I’m currently in Juneau - Wisconsin not Alaska. And there’s absolutely nothing around really. I’m in an apartment rather than a hotel - cause there are none! I just finished cleaning the hell of out it - cause i’m a clean freak, bought some flowers, candles and incense to feel more at home. And alot of healthy food so I can cook every day. That way I know i’m going to be eating great meals!

I went for a long walk, worked out. And currently doing laundry, checking emails, talking to friends on skype and aol. Thank god for internet! And TV! I think I would go crazy otherwise. And I guess I can forget about getting any sleep with all the trucks driving by starting at 5am! I suffer from insomnia in general, something i’m trying to cure with acupuncture and chinese herbs. But a bit hard when on the road so much.

I try to look at the brightside of everything. I’m just happy to be working. I have 2 days off before I start featuring at this club, Silk, here in Juneau - I really hope people will drive out here to see me! Its full nude, full alcohol. The only county in WI with those rules. But Summerfest (a huge rock music festival) starts on Thursday in Milwaukee - where I was last week, doh! So fingers crossed anyway.

Now on another issue, bitchy girls. Seriously, some really bad fucking attitudes from alot of strippers in every club I go to. And i’m so friendly to everyone, I say hello, and just get filthy looks. Some girls are really nice and supportive, dont get me wrong, but god damn do these other bitches realize how fucking rude they are.

Why spend your whole life being bitter and rude to everyone. Its such an ugly trait. And your never gonna get ahead in life with that kind of behaviour. I’ve worked my arse off to get to where i’m at, to get these feature gigs - to help bring customers into the clubs so the girls in turn, can make more money too. I guess some people will just be haters their whole life. And live in misery. I feel sorry for them. But if it wasn’t for my controlled anger management. I would get in some serious fights.

Ahhhhhhhhh yeah, got that off my chest! Thats all for now!

stay tuned….

luv mon xoxo

So i’ve been back in LA for about a week now, trying to catch up on all the things I haven’t been able to do while i’ve been on the road. For example, paper work, gathering website content - and going through it all, cleaning my house, laundry - lots of it, and many appointments. I’ve only gone out once this week, to see a couple of bands, but am dying to go out on the town again. If only all my friends weren’t married and have boyfriends, I’d be out all the time! Why i’m still single you might ask. Well, because I haven’t met the right guy. And I dont just settle for anything. You’ve got to really have alot in common, and be sexually compatible and attracted to each other. I’ve dated guys, had sex with guys, but thats as far its been going the last couple of years. And I’m actually content with that, because I know there has to be another soulmate out there somewhere!

So to change the subject before I get too deep and meaningful. My trip to Arizona was definately not worth talking about. Lets just say, you cant expect a feature to perform a high energy show on a slippery ass stage. I’ve never had to hang onto the poles so much in all my years of performing! And you couldn’t play games on stage. And well, the most fun I had was getting on the mic, and being a smartass, I love when people laugh at my stupid jokes.

Yesterday I had a freakin great time at Willow Springs Raceway. Where one of my best friends, Dez, is racing today in his suped up WRX - I dont know if any of you saw me on Playboy Tv’s Adult stars close up years ago, but I too had a suped up WRX until somebody took it away from me . I couldnt get up early enough to go out there again today, bit of a long ass drive. But I supported him yesterday anyway, and I got to go around the track doing up to 160mph. That was such a fucking great rush. I thought we were gonna roll for sure, taking those turns doing 80.

So yeah, you could say I do really love racing, and kick-boxing. Those are the two sports that i’ll watch anytime. Its so much more fun to be there live though.

Well I gotta get going and get ready to shoot some natural photos for a story I did in Cosmo UK. I really dont have any natural photos of myself without friends in them. Not surprising really when your constantly having your picture taken for a living.

stay tuned…

I’m laying in bed with a bit of a cold as I write this, recovering after a very entertaining 4 nights in El Paso, Texas. My dance agent ‘Pure Talent’, held their ‘Superstar Stripper’ showcase at The Red Parrot last Wed-Sat. In which myself and my fellow Aussie Bombshell Suzie Malone, were hosting. No Suzie is not another Aussie pornstar - I’m still the only mainstay, woohoo! However, she is one of the greatest showgirls I’ve ever seen. Her specialty is her magic burlesque show. Absolutely amazing. So if she ever comes to a town near you, i’d highly recommend seeing her show.

There were 12 girls total, obviously i’m not going to ramble on about everyone. Another of my favorite showgirls was Jada Deville, I thought I had some mad energy on stage, but this girl is insane. She’ll run and do a forward somersault. Seriously. Then one night, during her fire show, she set my crotch on fire (with panties on) and lit a cigarette! It was so hot - literally. lol.

I also loved Levena, such a great dancer and smokin’ hot. She’s a penthouse pet and miss ozzfest 2008. My kinda girl! And we do look very similar. She gets mistaken for Stormy alot too! HA! But she does look more like her than I do. I get mistaken for Holly Madison all the time now. Someone at the club even came up to me and asked if I was Holly, after I’d been hosting the show for 4hrs every night, under my name! Very observant love! Geez, everyone always has to compare you to someone dont they? Why can’t I just be me?

Oh, and then there’s Brandi Morgan, who looks like she should be a supermodel, 5′9″, beautiful, perfect body, great dancer. Gotta love tall women. Who else, Victoria Valentina - a pornstar, very sweet, and also puts on a great show, she’s just got one of those smiles that makes her seem so innocent, and she’s really quiet, but then you look at her movies and know otherwise.

I gotta say Tali De Mar, showgirl, just had the greatest attitude, always smiling, very sweet, it was almost as if nothing could bring her down. And she does an awesome burlesque show, she totally fits the bill with that fiery red hair too. Daisy Duxe, another pornstar, also put on a great show, she had so many props with her, champagne in the bath, fake fire with a firemans outfit. Very creative.

Okay, i’m gonna stop there and talk about my shows now. The two that stood out the most to me were my pirate theme, where I had 2 girls (Nadia Nitro and Rain) in tiny pirate outfits and bandanas dancing in the background for the first song, I pulled out a fake knife and licked it then rubbed it on my pussy. HA! Once I got down to my thong, I whip out the lotion and rub it all over my body, then we play the game ‘Stick it to Monica’, obviously you stick your dollar bills to me.

The last show was my favorite cause I’d never tried this before. I got some glow in the dark paints and had the dj set the black lights, so you could see the glowing colors on my body, then I painted my breasts and stomach and laid down over a canvas that I had pre-signed. And voila, a beautiful work of art! Then we auctioned it off on stage.

Then we had the awards ceremony in the end, in which I won ‘Best Showcase host’ and ‘Prettiest Face’, which i’m totally happy with!

Okay, now I know some men have trouble of thinking what to say to a hot girl, but really, dont insult her! This one older man came up to me and said ‘you sound too prim and proper to be swearing so much’, I’m like, ‘listen mate, I’m Australian, and I’m a pornstar, I may have a nice hosting voice because I’ve had voice lessons, but dont ever tell me i’m prim and proper, if my constant use of the words fuck and pussy offend you, thats all you had to say, but dont fucking insult me’. And I left it at that.

wow, this is the longest blog ever, so I’m gonna try and get out of bed to finish packing. Hopefully I can knock out this cold with all my home remedies, antibiotics dont do shit. But my famous chicken stew and countless herbs, vitamins and fresh squeezed juices should do the trick!

talk soon, luv mon xoxo

Had a very chilled weekend, which was nice considering all the partying i’ve done on the road lately! Friday night, went to a friends place and watched movies. Last night, went to a friends place and watched the fights. A little disappointed that it didnt last longer. But what a great fight! Manny Pacquiao has got to be the fastest boxer I’ve ever seen! I used to do muay-thai kick-boxing for many years, so i’m more into that and UFC rather than boxing, but holy shit, I was very entertained. I thought I kept missing bits of the fight, cause he was so damn quick that you couldn’t see him coming half the time.

Today, I went over to Jessica Jaymes place to shoot content for my website monicamayhem.com. Couldn’t believe how quick we shot all that. Did a solo scene and some pics. And then a bgg with Jessica and Johnnie Castle. It was a smokin’ hot scene, of course, with a hot brunette and a hot blonde together with a hot guy! We were right into the scene when the camera guy tells us its time for the pop shot, we were all like ‘wow, really’.

That doesn’t usually happen when your shooting a scene, its usually the other way around, ‘uh, how much more footage do you need?’ lol. You really dont need to shoot such long scenes, since they get edited to around 15mins anyway. Unless of course its for a very artsy movie or big budget feature where you have to get every angle right, hardcore, softcore, and the lighting has to be perfect. Then I dont mind shooting for hours cause I know its gonna look great.

So right now I’m thinking i’m going to do a live webcam show on imlive.com tonight at 8pm, since its been so long! And i’m all done up, hair and makeup ready. So why not keep on going!

talk soon
mon xoxo

Another great weekend of dancing. Greenbay is a very small but nice town. The Oval Office (strip club) was very nice also. I started off thursday having to get a license to dance, then went to the club to do a radio interview, before heading back to my hotel to get ready for the night. 3 shows every night. On Thursday, the DJ got in trouble for saying the ‘C’ word. I guess Americans really dont like that word at all, the girls thought he was talking about them! haha, so they all threatened not to tip him. He was just playin around, pretending to be Australian, but when he said it on the mic, everyone’s heads just turned all at once. I was crackin’ up on stage. It was pretty funny. Some people need a bit more of a sense of humour I think!

Cooter ball was tough on the first night, took 3 songs before anyone got the dollar bill in the shotglass! But hey, its worth it to win a free dvd right? And of course I took my lotion show to the stage - plenty of pics of that on my website, and dancing. I love to do the lesbian shows, seems to go down really well! Who wouldn’t like to see 2 girls in 69? I also did rides for 5. That was alot of fun, but damn my knees were all bruised up from that, to the point where I had to stop doing that in the rest of my shows. Thank god the rails around the stage were padded, I think every club should do that, genius idea!

I did quite alot of lapdances too. One for a couple - that seems to be a trend with me, the couples thing. I know they went straight home after that dance! Most people were too shy to actually come up and say hi to me. They would just stare and wave. haha. I really dont bite you know! I’m always sitting there smiling saying hi, but people are just scared of me!

I was leaving the hotel on sunday, and there was about 500 12yr olds there. My driver asked the girls to let me through cause I had a plane to catch, and they were all yelling ‘bye Gwen Stefani’, it was so cute. I’m very flattered, but I know I dont look like Gwen.

Greenbay airport would have to be my favorite of all time! There was no-one in line, and the security guards were all smiling and very talkative. What a nice change to travel that way. As you can imagine, LAX is not the friendliest airport, with a ton of people in line.

Now I’m back home in LA for 2 weeks and have the longest list of things to do. Was so nice to go grocery shopping today and be able to make my own fresh and healthy food! Living off of hotel and stripclub food is not exactly always the healthiest or tastiest. Although I had a really great burger at the club! haha, so naughty. Not looking forward to doing taxes! ahhhhhhhhhh. Again, I’m late with that. Oh well, gotta do what you gotta do! Now back to work!

stay tuned…… xoxo mon

I had a great time dancing at TD’s Eubanks, and Fantasy World in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Since my favorite game, ‘Cooter Ball’, was not allowed to be played in the club, due to some law. I incorporated a couple of other acts into my show. Why didn’t I think of this before???? The lotion show - I pour lotion all over my body and rub it in, then let the customers slap their bills on me, to create an outfit of $$$.

The other thing, ‘Rides for 5′. Alot of clubs wont let you do most of these types of shows, due to state or county laws, but this one involves the customer giving me $5, and I drag them on stage and give a dirty little dance - up very close and personal. I had so many girls and guys wanting to do this. Of course you dont get a full song or anything - that you have to come and see me for after the show. But you get a very nice view!

I wish I could have got to do more in New Mexico, but I spent all the time sleeping due to major jet lag and insomnia. I really wanted to go on the skyrail up in the mountains! Maybe some other time. I did eat some giant Oysters while I was there, they were on steroids! Seriously, I’ve never seen them so big. A little too meaty for my liking though. Apparently they came from Louisiana. Yes, I am an oyster conneissuer. You either love em or hate em, I happen to LOVE them.

So Tomorrow I fly out to Greenbay, Wisconsin to dance at ‘Oval Office’. Which I hear is a great city and a great club. Home of the Greenbay Packers I hear - since I know nothing about football. Too bad I dont have a green and gold outfit - since that is also the colors of Australia! This gives me an idea for a new costume.

Anyway, got lots to take care of right now.

stay tuned…

mon xoxo

okay, so this really isn’t about me. Or perhaps its more about my perversions. You see, I’m in my hotel in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And right now, I would be sleeping after a long night of dancing and signing at 2 different clubs. However, the couple next door, can’t seem to get enough. SEX that is. I kid you not, they’ve been going at it for at least 2hrs now. I know this because their bed keeps banging up against my wall, and every now and then I hear moans from some girl.

As much as this turns me on. Since I’m a voyuer and love to hear people having sex. I cant help but feel sorry for this girl, because either, the guy cant come. Or he thinks marathon sex is a turn on. Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but most girls can’t handle hours of sex. Either physically, because you get sore down there, or you’ve cum so many times and enoughs enough, or your worn out and just want to go to sleep already. Unless of course, your 100% totally in love, thats different, and this has only happened to me once or twice. It’s like, I want him inside me for hours. Or I may just want to feel his arms around me, and his naked body right up close to mine.

But hey, I could be wrong here, some girls get off on hours of sex. Everyone is built differently. I for one, love sex, but not hours of it. I love foreplay, teasing, touching, kissing, I love the first time with a guy, the initial ‘are we gonna do it’ question in your head (providing the guy is not blatantly forceful and cocky about having sex). The, no talking, heavy breathing, grinding up against each other, until things naturally lead up to sex. Now that is a great way to describe it! Wow, is it just me or does that just sound so hot? And dont tell me you cant relate. Cause otherwise, I might be considered a nymphomaniac.

 And you know, sometimes, I love whispering dirty thoughts to the guy, not out loud like we do on camera, but just softly, is such a turn on to me. And as long as the guy is reciprocating, and not asking stupid questions like ‘r u okay’, then things should work out fine.

Hey, I’m giving you all free advice here! Dont turn off your partner by talking too much during sex, unless its to say how hot they are, or how much they turn you on, or what you would like them to do to you or vice versa. We dont want to hear about your problems, or what time you have to get up the next day. Just shut up, and do as your told! Trust me, you’ll make many women, very happy. You give and you get. What goes around, comes around - that’s my daily motto! And dont forget it!!!

xoxo Mon

I’ve been having a great time back home in OZ. Started off a week or so ago in Lorne VIC, at the AdultEx convention. It was all toy distributors and retailers, not a fan thing, but I signed alot of store posters for my Saucy Aussie Collection of toys. And hopefully will be back in around 6 months to do some store signings around the country!
Everyone was so cool and so much fun, Calvista really did a great job. Drank quite alot, while being jetlagged at the same time - not a good combo, but I got through it just fine.
Next stop Sydney, had a few days to catch up with a few people, before heading to melbourne to dance at the Spearmint Rhino. Which was alot of fun, had a great time and the staff were amazing. So many hot chicks! The patrons aren’t used to features, so I got on the mic on the last night and that created a big stir, did alot of lapdances that night.
Went out to a couple of clubs afterwards, but a little bit too heavy for my liking. Long gone are my days of hardcore trance and techno clubbing. It was really a bit seedy, so we left and continued the party in my hotel.
Had a couple of girlfriends come down to Melbourne, so we did a bit of shopping, and went to some nice restaurants.
Now i’m back in Sydney with my family, catching up on emails etc.. Got alot of friends to see this week. Not enough time here unfortunately, but I gotta fly to New Mexico to dance the day after I get back to LA.
Stayed tuned…